What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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