What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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