What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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