What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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