What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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