What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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