What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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