What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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