What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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