What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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