What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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