What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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