What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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