What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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