What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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