What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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