What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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